You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Couch. On fire.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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