Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
