his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
