i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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