Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
