Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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