I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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