Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
my poor anus
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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