So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
