Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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