I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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