dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
