I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
