The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
