I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize