stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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