We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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