worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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