You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
