This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize