If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
