those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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