If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
