i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize