only if we run a train.
done.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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