you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
