So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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