he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
