I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
