South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
