I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
