I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
