thus making me awesome and them whores
my shit smells like andre
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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