Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
handjob tips. give me some.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
