Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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