You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
