No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
