im six kinds of drunk right now
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
