Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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