Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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