Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
