Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
