They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
where are you?
Hypothermia
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
