I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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