OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
