Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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