whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sober January is a disaster.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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