dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
