Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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