i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
