hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
