Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i drank out of a bidet.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize