in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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