Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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