NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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