Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
