walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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