he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize