I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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